A few basic pieces of dating advice that are important for any single person to keep in mind during the early
stages of a dating situation:
-Don't act like a needy person. In fact, until you're in a solid relationship, try to hide any neediness almost
entirely. (I mean, if you need to take a leak; or to eat a peanut-butter-and-jelly-sandwich you have in your
handbag for fits of low blood sugar; or to have a glass of water ... by all means. But don't act like there's
anything you need from the other person.)
-Don't be negative. This means you shouldn't criticize the loud/poorly dressed/gauche people on the other
side of the bar from you. Don't complain that your Pinot is not quite Noir-y enough, or that your salad
would've been a lot more awesome if they'd only added a splash of Holy Water from Fatima on it. Don't
complain about your job. Or your family. Or that one really toxic friend of yours. (I don't care if she always
gets wasted and throws up on your shoes, or if she always borrows money in small denominations--like $5
here, $10 there--and never pays you back. Do not mention her! And really, while you're at it, shouldn't you
consider breaking up with her?) If you need to vent about any of these things--wait till you're sitting with an
old pal, or you're on the couch at your shrink's office. A big part of the reason we're attracted to people is
because we think they are going to make our lives happier--and the more negative you are, the less likely it
is that a dude will think you'll bring some sunshine to his sad existence.
-Always keep this idea in the forefront of your mind: You are not trying to find out if the person you are flirting
with or dating accepts YOU. You are trying to figure out if YOU accept HIM. Does he have qualities that you
value? Does he make you feel good? Does he treat you the way you want to be treated?
-Remember that most guys like to pursue. So, while you may be the one initiating contact ... let him do the
work after you've met. Let him call you for dates, write the follow-up emails, and plan for the future. Of
course, you want to make it clear that you enjoy his company--but keep him guessing about just how much
you really like him until you feel comfortable with the fact that he's totally into you.
-Have fun and be playful. Think about how awesome it is when someone makes a little joke, says something
out of the ordinary, or simply engages in a spontaneous act of goofiness. We all like to smile and (even
better) to laugh. When you're flirting, approach strangers with the attitude that if nothing else happens, at
least you're going to have fun--and you'll always come out a winner.